A Finger Without A Ring On It

An ad for the upcoming Bravo series Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce was recently banned from subways and city buses in Los Angeles and New York because the content was deemed “inappropriate.” In the poster, star Lisa Edelstein is shown smiling while giving the camera her ring finger (as opposed to her middle finger).

There is a faded tan line on that finger, right where her character’s wedding ring used to be. The tag line accompanying the photo is “Go Find Yourself.”

I like the ad, which caused me to do a double take the first time I saw it. Is that an F-off gesture? I wondered, before realizing that it was the ring finger and not the middle one that Edelstein was raising.

The comedy is based on the popular Girlfriends’ Guide series by Vicki Lovine. Considering that it chronicles the life of a fortysomething woman who finds herself single again—probably at a time in her life when she least expected it—the ad makes perfect, tongue-in-cheek sense to me. Sometimes in life, you really do have to just say, Go F-(ind) yourself.

But the Metropolitan Transit Authority in New York City and Metro Los Angeles, as well as certain mall owners in L.A., think the ad is too offensive to display. Yet this ad, unlike others, doesn’t contain the kinds of gratuitous nudity or violence that get past the censors all the time. In an interview with Fox411, Katie Yoder of the politically conservative Media Research Center (MRC) Culture said that the show’s promo “trivializes marriage while serving as an ad for divorce.”

What, exactly, is so offensive about an ad that depicts a woman choosing to approach life in an empowered way, even when faced with an event as devastating as the end of her marriage? That is not the same as minimizing the institution or encouraging women to get a divorce. Considering that quite a number of marriages end in divorce or separation, why not allude to the possibility of a hopeful, happy future instead of a bleak one? Fortunately, not everyone agrees with the ban. The ad has found placements on other sites in both cities, including this one:

GirlfriendGuide

Click on the image for a closer look

I ended a long-term relationship nearly six years ago at age 38, walking out of our home together and starting all over. Even though everyone tells you that living together is not the same as being married to someone, there was still a lot of loss and grief (along with relief) that came with the separation. I loved him. And if I honestly thought that with hard work we could have found a way to resolve our problems and make each other happy, I would have stayed forever.

With my renewed single status I could tell that certain people felt anxious for me, especially at “my age.” Hurry up and find someone new before it’s too late! You’re getting older. That biological clock of yours will only tick for so long. 

I also discovered that because I had never been married, there were people I met who considered this a liability. I was asked the question “why have you never been married” more than once in a tone that seemed to imply, what’s wrong with you that you never took the plunge? Or, was it just that no one was willing to scoop you up? There was also another kind of reaction, with some men I met expressing worry that by now I must be desperate to marry.

This may be the 21st Century, but it seems to me that the idea of a woman who is going it alone without a man, especially as she gets older—whether by choice or because that’s how her life has worked out—still makes some people nervous. I’m not talking about economically. I mean that socially and culturally.

And then there are the derogatory words used for an older woman who has never married: spinster, old maid. The word divorcée, which references a woman, used to have a negative connotation to it, too.

The reality is that despite our best intentions and efforts—a marriage, cohabitation, boyfriend-girlfriend, girlfriend-girlfriend, sex buddies—not every relationship can or should last forever. Some women may prefer to go relationship-less.

And sometimes, in life, whether by choice or circumstance, a woman may just have to stick her I’m single finger up again. And really, what is bad or shameful or inappropriate about that?

For me, at that time in my life, it was the best choice. Who am I? What do I really want? I’d been so busy playing the role of someone else’s other half for so long that I’d forgotten. I took the next four years to find out.

Yet that decision did not preclude me from eventually finding committed love with a partner. If anything, the kind of relationship I have with this man—made up of two healthy whole people instead of two halves trying to make a whole—is only possible because I took the time I needed to find myself again. This time around, I am determined to hold onto both of us for good.


79 Comments on “A Finger Without A Ring On It”

  1. amommasview says:

    Interesting that this is labeled inappropriate given what else is out there… Great post!

  2. katherinejlegry says:

    Hi Diahann, I like how you point out that the divorce billboard isn’t found acceptable but how gratuitous violence and nudity are… What a stark realization.

    I never thought I’d be a married woman… but after 17 years of being best friends with my partner, some of the time living together, we decided that if anything were to happen to one of us such as with our health, we’d like to be there for the other to make decisions in the hospital which requires a kin relation.

    But to your story’s questions… and thoughts, I have found societal traditions and expectations and assumptions around married women to be full of stereotype-pitfalls… If we stay single we get slurred as spinsters and if we get married we get asked, when are you having the baby? Babies are almost the only reason for marriage in most people’s “brainwashed” minds. Both “labels” for women (as in married or unmarried) as discussed currently tend to bully us into who we think we are supposed to be.

    I love my husband and I’m glad we got married, but no thanks to the “institution” of marriage. We were going to be together with or without the piece of paper. I agree with you about two people who come together, not as two halves to make a whole, but as two whole people who want to share their journeys.

    Best wishes to you and your partner. 🙂

    • diahannreyes says:

      Thank you, Katherine. Such a good point that whether married-or not, women are still subjected to stereotype. (I recently read a few articles about how mom’s don’t like that there is an assumption that because they now have kids, they can’t be sexy. Then there is also the term MILF- which carries a derogatory tone to it). I am just happy we are all now having conversations to make change happen. I also love your description of your marriage and how it is about the connection the two of you have with each other that would be there regardless of whether or not you chose to get married. And thank you for the well wishes!

  3. vnp1210 says:

    It is such a double standard that they have billboards advertising strip clubs and scantily clad women all over the place! It shows how women are perceived as only good being desired as objects rather than as human entities leading their own lives apart from what society expects of them. Great points in this post.

  4. Well, first, another insightful post, Diahann. The reaction from the MRC is utterly ridiculous, but it also serves to underscore the way women are viewed in general, with the sense of carrying the responsibility for what goes wrong, but no credit for successfully thinking or acting outside of yesteryear’s conventions. Sometimes, it’s hard to believe this many centuries have gone by and this little progress has been achieved. On the other hand, no pun intended, I wish I could include a picture of my own hand and the phrase go F— Yourself. I’ll leave it up to you to decide which F word, I am employing. 😉

    • diahannreyes says:

      You had me laughing with your last line, Robyn. I agree with you- how can it be that women are still subject to so much objectification, sexism, and restrictive expectations in the 21st century? I used to think the world was fine and that we as women had all the equality and rights that we needed and now I realize how yes, things are better- but so much more needs to shift! Slowly but surely, I hope. Swiftly would be even better!

  5. SirenaTales says:

    Wow! I am genuinely surprised, to say nothing of very disquieted, that this ad was censored in such a public way, Diahann. And I say that as a woman who has been very happily married for over three decades.

    Your wise observations and those of your readers above underscore how deeply embedded in our culture many outmoded, sexist views and assumptions persist to disempower women. Sheesh! On a more positive note, your own story, which you lived in spite of many societal fetters, inspires much hope and serves as a model for other women who need or want to go it alone, temporarily or permanently, in order to live their lives to the fullest.

    Yay you…and THANK you. And yes, I’ll join Katherine above in sending you and your partner all good wishes. xo

    • diahannreyes says:

      Thank you, Chloe, for the good wishes and also your kind words about my solo years. I have to say, for me, I would have missed out on who I’ve become completely if I hadn’t taken that time, so I’m very grateful for it. And now I’m excited to co-create life with my love. I love knowing btw that you have been very happily married for as long as you have- that is another depiction that I feel doesn’t get enough play in the media short of stereotypes, so thank you for the inspiration. As for the stereotypes- I was surprised too at the ban- could that type of perception about women in relation to marriage and singlehood really still exist? Apparently so. Here’s hoping for change. xo

  6. BroadBlogs says:

    Wow! A ringless finger is a bigger threat than violence. That says a lot!

  7. I bet the ban on the finger ad got a lot more publicity than it expected! I enjoyed your post, Diahann. Very positive. 🙂

  8. Jenn Berney says:

    “What, exactly, is so offensive about an ad that depicts a woman choosing to approach life in an empowered way, even when faced with an event as devastating as the end of her marriage? That is not the same as minimizing the institution or encouraging women to get a divorce.” I love your analysis here! This ad is so layered and you do a great job unpacking not just the ad itself, but the censors’ reactions to it.

    • diahannreyes says:

      Thank you, Jenn. It took a moment for me to name exactly why the ban bothered me. It’s 2014, for goodness sake- yet a woman making empowered choices in her life somehow is still perceived as a threat to marriage? They are not mutually exclusive.

  9. Tony Single says:

    It seems there are still many who are hellbent on upholding the status quo above all else – above happiness, peace of mind, and a meaningful future. Look, marriage is fine – there’s nothing wrong with that – but it’s not the only valid kind of relationship out there. And, yes, you can even have a relationship with yourself, as egocentric as that might seem to most. As long as what you’ve got going on is healthy, then it’s none of anyone else’s business. I couldn’t agree with you more, Diahann.

    • diahannreyes says:

      I am with you, Tony- on marriage and on having a self-relationship. In my experience- I’ve only been able (and willing) to hunker down in love since I started having a more connected relationship to me- so I believe one can feed the other if that is what a person wants. and if not, why should that be a threat? Hope you are doing well- looking forward to your next installment.

  10. Benn Bell says:

    Another example of how schizophrenic our society is. Political correctness stifles free speech, dampens creativity and takes the spice out of life.

    • diahannreyes says:

      It’s amazing how free speech and creativity are often stifled out of fear and the desire to suppress yet so much that should be eradicated remains. Here is hoping for change, Benn!

  11. I don’t know Diahann, the poster sure makes me want a divorce, and right now!

    But on a serious note, I encourage my granddaughters not to get married, but rather live with the mate of their choosing. And why not; marriage is, in my estimation, an antiquated institution even though I have been married now for 42 years on this day to the same woman. And forgetful me forgot to mention it to her before I left for the office. Oops. Better call her now, thanks for the reminder.

    • diahannreyes says:

      Happy Anniversary, Peter! 42 years is a wonderfully long time 🙂 And your first line above made me smile.

      I have never been married but I like the idea of saying vows that are unique to us and what we want to say yes to as opposed to the going with the traditional. I’m with you in that for me personally there are aspects about the institution that I would rather go without.

      Your granddaughters must love having such a progressive grandfather 🙂

  12. inspoetry says:

    Must we see everything? We need more inspiring stories to inspire love not hate.

  13. alohaleya says:

    thank you for this post Diahann, your words comforted me today. aleya

  14. Audrey F says:

    I am stunned, but not surprised by the ban of this ad. Stunned because it makes absolutely no sense, when there are, as you have pointed out, Diahann, so many more violent, sexually gratuitous and sexually violent ads all around us. I’m not surprised by the ban, given the current political environment, i.e. what I consider the push to go back to a time when women had no power (the stone age, perhaps?). Thank you, Diahann, for bringing this hypocrisy to light in your piece. For the record, I’m not married, never have been married and have never had a desire to get married. As you point out, successful loving partnerships/relationships come In a variety of combinations and permutations. Marriage is a choice as wearing a ring on one’s finger. Note: There are many married men who do not wear a ring. What’s up with that?
    Thanks again, Diahann.

    • diahannreyes says:

      Audrey, you raise some really great points here. And I love your proud declaration of your chosen single status. It’s amazing really that there is so much seemingly subtle hypocrisy going on that still impacts how the world sees women. Here is hoping for changing!

  15. Jemal says:

    Thank you Diahann for your informative post.
    After so many years thinking that a ring isn’t needed to show a commitment of love and respect, I recently fell into the thinking that putting a ring on a woman’s finger would make life great.
    What I failed to notice was where her thoughts and needs laid in relation to my thoughts and needs.
    I should’ve noticed it was too much for her when she pulled off the ring that day after our engagement.
    I’m back to my origins line of thinking. Screw the ring and the industry behind it.
    Thanks Again and keep up with the great posts.

    • diahannreyes says:

      Thank you, Jemal. Your words made me think that the expectation to get married and how it impacts men is one that does not get discussed a lot and should because that is important too. I know that your breakup was undoubtedly a tough one, sending you a hug, old friend. Society really does do a number on us on what is supposedly the right thing to do when it’s such an individual, personal choice!

  16. christinajavete says:

    That is the cutest signage for a show =) It’s clearly here showing you her ring finger but some people aren’t that smart or clever to get it!! I think you’re amazing whether you have a ring on or not! You do what’s right for YOUR life, it seems that nowadays everyone has an opinion and you just can’t please anyone, so just please yourself! (LOL!) But seriously though, thank you for writing this and bringing awareness to this topic.

    • diahannreyes says:

      Christina, thank You. I so appreciate our outlook and agree- a ring (or not) does not define a person. And I’m with you- might as well please at least one person if any when making choices- and might as well be you. 🙂 🙂

  17. Miranda Stone says:

    I’ve seen some very risque billboards advertising “gentleman’s clubs,” and people are offended at THIS? Just goes to show that somewhere out there, there’s someone who takes offense at EVERYTHING. I think you have a great point about what it means to censor an ad such as this one, which is actually quite empowering for women. I’m fortunate that I’ve never felt pressure to marry–not from my friends or family. Marriage is not something I ever wanted for myself. And I love your description here about your current relationship: “…the kind of relationship I have with this man—made up of two healthy whole people instead of two halves trying to make a whole—is only possible because I took the time I needed to find myself again.”

    I very much enjoyed this. Your posts are always thought provoking and great for beginning much needed discussions, Diahann!

    • diahannreyes says:

      Thank you, Miranda. I love that you have always had a true sense of yourself from day one and what is for you and what isn’t regardless of what conventions dictate. You inspire me with how you move to the rhythm of your own (heart) beat. It’s interesting to me how social choices that empower women but may not have anything to do with being with or needing a man can still make people nervous. It may be more subtle than it used to but its still there. I hope you are enjoying your break… I imagine you are doing a lot of writing and planting more seeds for publication.

      • Miranda Stone says:

        I think it’s always been hard for people to be true to themselves. Maybe it’s harder now more than ever, when we’re constantly reminded via media of how we “should” look or behave or live our lives. It’s been an uphill battle for me, but I’m fortunate to have friends and family who accept me for who I am. I think your blog has always brought an empowering message to women–you’re doing great work here, Diahann.

  18. The only explanation is the unseen hand of the Catholic church. I’m not going all Dan Brown here — NY and LA have large catholic diocese and influential bishops. They church stays on top of this sort of thing more than people realize. The point of view of your piece is very powerful. Always enjoy reading your thoughts.

    • diahannreyes says:

      That’s a really interesting point, Dan. I definitely think that the church could do more to update its perception of women and the roles they can play both in and outside the institution. And thank you for your kind words. 🙂

  19. pjsarecomfyn says:

    Such an important discovery you made in those years. What a strange idea that people would ask you why you’ve never been married and find it shocking. I can’t imagine, but you are obviously breaking all the molds, in a good way 🙂

    • diahannreyes says:

      Thank you. Yes- for me, without those four years, I would have totally missed out on me 🙂 It definitely surprises me still, some of these outdated perceptions of women that are still there, creating impact.

  20. lissiejean says:

    This is so perfect! At 33 I’ve already gone through a divorce and a broken engagement with my live-in fiancé. As much as I’ve been encouraged to “get back out there” I have been taking the time to do exactly what you’re talking about – getting to know myself – and for exactly the same reason. You couldn’t have worded it any better, but the kind of relationship I want is one “made up of two healthy whole people instead of two halves trying to make a whole”. I’d rather stay single all the way to crazy cat lady status than settle for less! Thanks, this was so encouraging!

  21. ninoalmendra says:

    I do agree that putting the poster down is really absurd considering that other malicious ad is standing around it. Narrow-minded human being are scattered everywhere!
    But in the place I came from, we have a worst situation.
    After reading your arcticle I ask myself, do you know the meaning of DIVORCE? Yes, as I seen in american movie and TV series it is the separation of two married couples. Thats it, that’s all I know about Divorce.
    Sad to say that we Filipinos don’t have this law. Still a lot of Filipinos lock inside the chain of wedding. A very small chance you can escape using the expensive, complicated and time consuming Annulment law.
    As long as The Roman Catholic church is dictating which law to pass into the congress, divorce law will never land on Philippine soil.
    Thank you Diahann for inspiring your readers about this topic. Wish you and your partner all the best in your future endevours!

    • diahannreyes says:

      So true, Nino. I have heard of people making hiwalay but I’d forgotten that divorce doesn’t exist in the Philippines. Hearing some of the drama that some of my relatives end up in over there, I sometimes think it wouldn’t be so bad for divorce to be a an option. Thank you, Nino, for the good wishes!

  22. livelytwist says:

    In my view, the photo is provocative. It is marketing. And I can see why it might offend some. But we’ve also seen worse.

    This spoke to me: “This may be the 21st Century, but it seems to me that the idea of a woman who is going it alone without a man, especially as she gets older—whether by choice or because that’s how her life has worked out—still makes some people nervous. I’m not talking about economically. I mean that socially and culturally.”

    The reality I see around me is that it is a couples world. Kudos to you for toughing it out on your own and discovering yourself. That’s so important.

    • diahannreyes says:

      Thank you, Timi. That time spent was truly among my best years to date. No regrets.

      Yes- it seems that choosing to or ending up outside the narrative where a woman ends up with a man is still considered the norm narrative when really, it is a choice but not the only choice.

  23. Bravo on the ending. =) I’m not sure it’s really nervousness single older women stir in others, at least in the Asian culture, as it is pity and worry to be honest. I can see your take on the ad, esp as it could apply to women who find themselves free from abusive or detrimental relationships. I also see how it sounds like it’s preempting marriage altogether. Well, in a vocal society like ours we’re going to have extreme positions in all things.

    Though I was younger, I chose the road less traveled in breaking up with two different men in my 20s. Very hard decisions that meant the ground of security would give way under my feet and I’d lose my social moorings – the second instance in CA where I was a new transplant. Both decisions put me in very lonely places after the expectation (on everyone’s part) of marriage. But we know what is not best for us and have to follow our emotional and mental compass.

    You apparently posted this after my last chk-in. Glad I caught it.

    • diahannreyes says:

      Thank you, Diana. Good point about the additional stigma that can come with one’s culture of origin, especially from the East- and I’m sure in other parts of the world as well.

      Kudos to you for, as you put it, knowing “what is not best” and following your own “emotional and mental compass” during what sounds like two very pivotal points in your life. I think to turns one back from expectation takes courage at any age for different reasons. Now here we both are. Happy Thanksgiving. Grateful for our weaving.

  24. Aquileana says:

    I wonder how the same society that crowned Sex and The City” can find that ad offensive… Quite odd even more considering the statistics regarding divorces!.
    Great post… All the best to you.Aquileana 😀

  25. Faith Simone says:

    There are so many valid points in this post! How is it possible that in today’s supposedly forward thinking society, a woman is still measured by her ability to ‘catch’ and ‘keep’ a man? It’s so sad and frustrating! To say that single women of a certain age make people nervous is an understatement. They all but freak out. ESPECIALLY if said woman seems entirely unconcerned about her single state. Then something MUST be wrong with her. I applaud you for walking away from an unfulfilled relationship despite the societal pressure you may have felt to stay and ‘make it work’ due to age. I’ve been there and done that, and won’t be buying the t-shirt. What’s really interesting to me is how often women in obviously unhappy marriages attempt to pressure single women to ‘settle down’. I always think if you’re the poster child for marriage, I’ll pass, thanks.

    • diahannreyes says:

      Thank you, Faith. And I applaud you too for not succumbing to that societal pressure, too. “Won’t be buying the t-shirt”– I love that.

      What I also think is interesting is that when we or others pressure, it can be easy to not know that is just conditioning talking and posing as a “should” rather than any type of objective reality or truth.

  26. askmrtony says:

    Being married or single is hard work. Or just in some type of relationship requires having a healthy mind. It sounds like you are on the right track and the good in you will guide you into a greater happiness my friend. Remain wise and nice so that you attract the best for you. If it hasnt already happened! God bless!

  27. You’re gonna love the link below, D.

    Robyn from Jamborobyn
    https://gohomeubb.wordpress.com/

    sent me:

    http://m.dailylife.com.au/dl-beauty/tracey-spicer-this-is-what-i-look-like-without-makeup-20141115-3kfbl.html

    Woo hoo! I sent her your site just now. Have fun matchmaking bloggers this wk. =)

    • diahannreyes says:

      Thank you, Diana. I appreciate you thinking of us both. I can’t wait to check her out. Look at you- busying doing everything that you do- and playing matchmaker. xo

      • She just got back after a big blog break but she’s a great writer and thoughtful reader.

        • diahannreyes says:

          Btw- I saw the TedTalk of Tracey doing this- it was pretty powerful. Thank you for sharing the article w/ me. I love that she did this… makeup, clothing can sometimes be armor in ways that we don’t even realize. I love that she broke it all down.

          • I’m not seeing for sure through this notific window if it’s under this thread that I told Robyn I didn’t wholeheartedly endorse what she did, though I’m glad she felt so liberated. But the point is I thought the Talk would be a great point of connection for you and R. =) That’s cool you caught the Ted.

  28. Cnawan Fahey says:

    Diahann, I would flip you the ring finger, but there’s no need, as you have already found yourself. From the belly, as always – you’re remarkable. My awareness expands every time I read one of your posts. Very incisive. Thank you.

    • diahannreyes says:

      Thank you so much, Cnawan. What you said above about your awareness expanding when reading my posts- that really made my day… esp. as I know, from your work, of the ways in which you tune in.

      • Cnawan Fahey says:

        You’re so welcome. I am always so struck by how directly and insightfully you address sensitive or difficult issues.

  29. Jean says:

    I was unaware of this ad controversy. Thx for the news highlight. The only thing I see is misinterpreting the finger signal.

    I guess the transit authority’s didn’t want to taint the image of marriage.

    You probably immensely relieved you weren’t married to him. The only advantage of being married is related to sharing assets and in Canada, some tax breaks.

    Marital fidelity really is centred on the couple. The ring guarantees nothing.

    My partner and I aren’t married and we’ve been together for nearly 24 yrs. He is divorced before I met him and did have to pay child custody for his 2 children, now adults. So the idea of marriage becoming divorce, has burnt him.

    I chose to be child-free in my early 20’s. No regrets. I’m eldest of 6 children with the youngest 10 yrs. younger. So really, I’ve had some idea about child care and observing parental stress…..

    • diahannreyes says:

      Hi Jean, yes I was. I definitely have plenty of friends who have had to undergo the stress of divorce and all the legal and financial unknotting that can come with that, as well as the emotional. I agree w/ you that ultimately it is so much about the two people than any ceremony or symbol. As you shared, 24 years and still going. You strike me as someone who rides to the rhythms of her own movements…

  30. jamborobyn says:

    This ad is a lot of fun and cleverly designed to appeal to it’s target market. It is a direct challenge to those who disagree with the overall message, say of an empowered woman who is single (no way!). Thus I am not surprised that some went so far as to ban it — which probably means they lost this round, hehe. Having to go public with such twaddle as saying it “trivializes marriage while serving as an ad for divorce” proves that reason has left the building. I am pretty sure this is an ad for a comedy show, if they don’t find it funny they always have the option of simply ignoring it.

    • diahannreyes says:

      Hi Robyn, yes, the show is comedy-drama. I actually watched the first episode last week and loved it. I agree- an ad that seemed to me meant in good fun was taken to an extreme to make some sort of outdated point!

      I’ve thanked Diana, our Holistic Wayfarer, for making the intro between us. And I’m looking forward to checking out your work.

  31. Rajagopal says:

    Interesting post, diahann…agree with your thinking that two refined fulls coming together in unity would make for a greater synergistic whole than two halves slugging it out to find unified bearing…best wishes…raj .

    • diahannreyes says:

      Thank you, Raj. Yes. I feel like the whole finding “your other half” theory definitely can do a number on people…. the sum of two wholes is always greater than the other in a myriad of ways.

  32. BroadBlogs says:

    Reblogged this on BroadBlogs and commented:
    Give the (ring) finger to the camera and say, “Go f- yourself” —

    By which we mean, “Go find yourself.”

    It’s enough to get you banned.

    Read more here:

  33. shoe1000 says:

    Thank you for an interesting article. I think that a culture that suppresses its shadow and won’t accept the empowerment of the feminine is going to project out its shadow in whatever way I can to try to get the feminine to be subservient to the masculine. As long as we Live in a patriarchal, Christian paradigm dominated culture, this sort of disturbance or any activity or display of behavior outside of the “accepted,” norm it’s going to be met by that same resistance. Paradigms usually shift violently. To me this is just a different manifestation of that violence.
    Thanks Again

    • diahannreyes says:

      Well said, thank you. I agree about the reasons for the ban as a different manifestation of the violence on the feminine that you describe. Very subtle and not as easy to spot as other ways of suppressing the feminine, which can make it even more effective because people don’t see it coming.

  34. Hate the words ‘spinster’ too. It has such a shroud of gloom around it.
    Bachelorette is a shade better – yet it has a frivolous touch to it.
    I am a bachelorette and love it!

  35. A few of my friends and I were talking about relationships recently. I was surprised to learn that one of my friends doesn’t want to get married until she’s 65, if ever. At first it bothered me a bit, but then I think it would suit her best. She’s such a free spirit and I can’t see her ever being tied down. Personally, I’m still trying to figure myself out before I start dating seriously. I’m also working toward being comfortable with the fact that I might not end up married, and that’s okay. I think it’s a journey we all need to take. I used to want to be married at 25, but the closer that birthday gets the more I am glad that I have time to discover who I am.

    • diahannreyes says:

      Yes. I think the right time is different for every person for sure. I think it’s wonderful you are tuning into the ripe time for you. I know for myself I needed plenty of space and time to figure myself out before I could continue to do that along with being in partnership.

  36. Maxima says:

    My best wishes for a Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! With love Maxima


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