The Accidental Porn Pusher

 The other day I printed out a list of search words that people have used, landing them on my blog. Aside from the expected—find my sensuality, stories of women, big round belly, female breast stories, what happened to Barbie’s Skipper—some other interesting terms come up, including:

  • Forward facing vagina pics
  • Filipino girls for pleasure
  • Her face as she climaxes
  • Girl pleasures herself with her tummy out
  • Beautiful lady pushing beer bottle in vagina

Based on these terms I suspect that there are people searching for pornography who are finding Stories from the Belly instead.

This isn’t the first time my work has been mistaken on the surface for pornography. Several years ago I wrote a chapbook of poetry and prose that I gave to family and friends. When I asked an uncle what he thought of my work, he said, “I didn’t finish it because I don’t read porn.”

“X” marks the pornographic
Wikipedia Commons:
http://tinyurl.com/7nd8l

Porn? I thought. Could he and I be talking about the same chapbook?

The collection had come out of a writing class in which we were told to put together what we’d written into self-published form. As someone who suffered from writer’s block for years, I was thrilled to have generated anything at all.

My poems and short essays covered a range of topics—from a poem fantasizing about life as the real Laura Ingalls Wilder to one about how I always tried to be whatever the man in my life needed instead of just being myself. There are also references throughout alluding to sexual and sensual experiences. But did that instantly qualify my work as porn?

“Are you sure that you are referring to my chapbook?” I said.

“Yes.” He replied. “There is no way I will read the whole thing. It goes against my values.”

His response devastated me. Could my work be that offensive? And how could I be making porn and not even know it? I don’t even like pornography because of how it objectifies women and turns sex into exaggerated acts of performance.

If my uncle was right, then surely the world would be a better place without me as a writer pushing that type of material out into the planet.

That night, I went online and got on Merriam Webster.com to look up the word:

Pornography “noun por·nog·ra·phy \-fē\: movies, pictures, magazines, etc., that show or describe naked people or sex in a very open and direct way in order to cause sexual excitement.

Is that what I had done? I went through every page of my chapbook looking for explicit descriptions of sex or naked people but couldn’t find any. Granted, in one poem there is a line about how I kissed a different boy every day my freshman year in college. In another poem, I write about having sex with a lover under a mango tree (although—full disclosure—that never happened. I just liked the imagery that the words evoked).

But were sentences like that enough to cause sexual excitement in anyone? And even if they did—was that my fault? And what would be wrong with that anyways? And If I were to ever describe a sexual experience in detail, would that automatically make it pornographic?

My uncle’s reaction to my work played on my fears that my writing was not fit for public consumption. I worried that he was right and I lacked the barometer for knowing the difference between the appropriate and the profane. I even considered placing an X-rated label on the cover of my chapbook as a warning.

In The Uses of the Erotic, feminist and author Audre Lorde wrote about how people often mistake the erotic for the pornographic: “The erotic has often been misnamed by men and used against women. It has been made into the confused, the trivial, the psychotic, and plasticized sensation.” When in reality, she explained, the erotic is “the assertion of the life force of women; of that creative energy empowered, the knowledge and use of which we are now reclaiming in our language, our history, our dancing, our loving, our work, our lives.”

For me, that first chapbook was the re-accessing of my creative force that I’d stopped up for so long. One of the reasons that I had subconsciously blocked myself as a writer was because I was so afraid that if I did write from my depths, one particular story would come rising to the surface, forcing me to deal with its truth—and that is exactly what happened. It was the story about how I was sexually abused when I was a child. And so began the process of me taking back my voice, my creativity, my body, and my sexuality as my own as I exorcised what was not mine—in reclamation of my feminine erotic nature.

Years later, I have a stronger sense of what my work is and what it is not. But that isn’t to say that I sometimes still don’t get paranoid and worry.

When I first launched this blog, knowing some of the topics I was dying to tackle, the old fears came up. For about five minutes, I literally marked my site as X-rated to warn unsuspecting people away from its contents—and then I decided to do as Lorde suggested and stop misnaming the erotic. No more using it to shame women, including me.

Still, with all the confusion that exists between the erotic and the pornographic, I shouldn’t be surprised that when some people go searching for porn they wind up here. What must the reader searching for “girls allow snake to pass through the vagina” think about my posts? Or the reader wanting to see “boyfriend shrinks and goes into girlfriend’s womb.” I wonder.

Imagining the startled, WTF expression on their faces makes me smile.


69 Comments on “The Accidental Porn Pusher”

  1. ziggyvanwd says:

    “This isn’t the first time my work has been mistaken for pornography.”

    This happens to me all the time too. : )

    Cheers,

    Ziggy

    • diahannreyes says:

      Thanks for sharing, Ziggy. Based on a few comments below- looks like we are not alone. I think that’s a very interesting coincidence- but probably not a coincidence really if there are more than one of us in the same boat.

  2. Ralph says:

    You just tell it as it is Diahann and that is fine with me 😀 ❤

  3. I’m annoyed at your oppressive uncle. You are kind to him in this post. His reaction to your reclamation of your creative power and force in that chapbook…incredibly sexist. And ultimately, he was as turned on by it as repulsed….thus porn to him. But calling it porn is an attempt to demean and take your power away. To shame. So annoying. There are many ways to disguise an assault with words that shame.

    I love what you do here. Let them say WTF. Those keywords are women’s words as much as men’s.

    • diahannreyes says:

      Thank you, Marika! I love what you said- women’s words as much as men’s words.

      Definitely a dynamic of sexism going on in that conversation we had and so much involved in that in terms of responding to feminine sensuality and sexuality that was ingrained. If that talk had happened now I think I would have been able to respond from a place of not letting his words get to me but had no idea back then what was really going on!

      • Thank you. I get it. The language of oppression is hard to understand unless we are educated to see it. I hate to think of the time I’ve wasted sorting through the messiness. I’d like my daughter have tools to understand it before it stunts her. Of course I’d like my daughter to have everything I never had too. I want her to read your blog!

  4. aqilaqamar says:

    #3 and #5 had been laughing so hard. I guess the sensuous and erotic are sometimes confused as pornography. These guys should read “The Story of the Eye” by Georges Bataille. Despite its exceeding pormographic nature it is classified as erotica. I mean his book can be fairly summed up as a mixture of both. I mean isn’t Sade’s “Justine” also like a ‘celebrated’ work though Justine pretty much gets raped and ‘gang-banged’ in its pages not to mention by monks and she is a nun O_o (my reactions). I guess the problem is also about women writing about fiction erotica that isn’t demeaning to them or to men. I always found porn especially regular fetishist porn of today (which is more or less norm) to be misandrist as well. I mean seriously the men are all half-baked with erections and all seem to extol violence on their partners (no matter male, female, transsex, etc) and also on themselves. They have no personalities aside wanting to have sex. Which is understandable but I do know males are more complex beings than that. And so are women. I mean if you were writing ambivalent, sexually pandering fiction like “The story of O” than you might still get recognition (I do believe that “The Story of O” is just a frustrated woman’s way of trying to get her boyfriend’s attention because he wouldn’t take her seriously otherwise: kinda sad actually). I also notice that sexual agency in women is still a no-no. Like she cannot have ownership of her desires. She can’t tell “I want you…” like this or that without being considered easy, a slut, a whore or something fucking out of decency. I mean mainstream society has a very weird, convoluted view about women’s sexuality.

    Like take for example the new song “Hey Mama” by David Guetta and sang by Nicki Minaj. It is a nice beat song but its lyrics are pretty distasteful. I feel it kinda degrads housewives too. I mean lines like “I will be your lady and freak” I mean so it’s not ladylike to want sex or sexual pleasure? And also she is doing cooking and cleaning all the time when does she have time for sex and her man is bossing her around shouldn’t he just make passionate love to her then? I mean I have no problem with women doing housework but being a homemaker is a VERY BIG JOB NOT DOMESTIC SLAVERY. Trying to only sexualize it creates a BIG PROBLEM. It is this sort of sexual stereotype that also demeans men I think. That all he does is boss her and all that. I think mainstream culture has problems with strong women or even assertive women. Actually this doesn’t have to be a career woman. I mean you see a lot of mothers and homemakers PRETTY STRONG and also have BIG PERSPECTIVES on many things. This doesn’t sit well with some people. I remember that I went to Bangkok last year and my Dad agreed with my Mom on something and the young man doing shop goes in accented English: “Oh your wife is the boss, huh?” Though he smiled at me and I smiled back I did not really like the comment my Dad just replied in a loose, non-caring (I think) affirmative because he probably didn’t like it either. Because listening to his wife doesn’t mean he is being emasculated; they were shopping he was leaving it up to her what’s so bad about that I mean it was bags and clothes and stuff so it should well not matter.

    I would love to read your chapbook! That mango tree was too sensual to ignore 😀 But I didn’t know your Uncle was so conservative. I guess he probably does not feel comfortable reading stuff like that. Especially from his niece. Is he like pretty disciplined about those kinds of things? Then that makes sense too. I don’t know. I understand people like that they believe that sexuality may even be a taint but I don’t completely understand I guess or maybe they believe that sex is too controlling so best abstain from topics on sexuality. I can understand those aspects. I think sex as a topic is healthy. I actually don’t think I can live with your Uncle; yes, I have my values too that some may also deem conservative but I can’t shy away from literature like that or well anything like that too much. I guess I am curious or just wanna know for the sake of knowing what others may think though this at times annoys the hell outta me too. I am no way disrespecting your Uncle Diahann.

    Such a long comment hahah sorry 😄

    • diahannreyes says:

      Aqilaqamar, Whenever you comment I’m always wowed by your familiarity with whatever topic is at hand and I’m always blown away by the different sources you manage to cite and explain in one response 🙂 Truly.

      I resonate with a lot of what you said. I think that the world is used to sexualizing women but women who are sexual and not just on the surface can be perceived as this wild untamed animal – and what to do with that ( both men and women, I feel, still react this way). There is power in that sexuality that has nothing to do with intercourse or objectification and thanks to patriarchy- that’s still seen a frightening.

      • aqilaqamar says:

        Truly Diahann I am so humbled and honoured thank you 🙂 made my day 😉

        Well, I think it has to do with sexual intercourse not in a boring heteronormative way. Like it’s about owning mutual agency: lovemaking actually swerves around that concept. The core of it is always that. Sex as a word and execution is more functional: be it reproductive, erotic, fetishistic, hormonal surge relief, etcetera. It isn’t really well you know multidimensional. Yes, there is a power in that sexuality. It is very beautiful. A man can be enchanted knowing his woman partner is so cool with everything even with outbursts of shyness (oxymoron;)) that actually makes sex/lovemaking/fucking (sorry for the words) pretty intense but also gentle and mutually rewarding. It builds a dialogue, a connection, a conversation — this scares the hell outta lot of people. That is why you don’t see men moaning during porn tapes. Men moaning showing a worthier climax that means he wants to probably engage with his partner who if it is a woman may make that patriarchal or consumerist need of detached sex come undone.

        • diahannreyes says:

          Interesting points! I agree- opening to sound definitely brings a vulnerability to it- especially when it is authentic, real sound coming from the body feeling as opposed to the manufactured moaning that comes from performance.

  5. BroadBlogs says:

    First, I’m so sorry that you were put through an abusive experience. But you’re all other thoughts are somewhat similar to things I have experienced as a blogger. My mom was horrified by my blog. And the young, Sexually repressed me would have been horrified, too. And I get a lot of people looking for porn on my blog, too. I always assume they’ll be disappointed.

    • diahannreyes says:

      thank you, Georgia. Curious if your mom’s opinion of your blog has changed since you launched it.And it’s interesting that more than one of us (other women have said the same in the comments) that the assumption of porn in work by women is not as uncommon as one would think.

  6. itsvishakha says:

    There are people who are going to find some problem with anything and everything. All you have to do is believe in yourself and write. Cause writing is beautiful.

    Sex, erotic stuff is too much exaggerate. So it shouldn’t affect the writing. Just take it as a compliment and walk ahead. You have people to love your blogs.

    Your blogs are beautiful!! 🙂

  7. livelytwist says:

    People read through filters, their experiences, values, culture, etc, ‘colour’ the way they see things. Sometimes I will give 3 readers a piece I wrote to read. They will come up with 3 different interpretations, which differ from mine. 🙂 I suppose this is why some articles resonate with us and others don’t.

    I like how you take time to examine feedback and reflect and come to conclusions regarding your writing.

    People search for the weirdest things!

    • diahannreyes says:

      Thank you, Timi. Yes- some weird searches for sure. And so agree about the filters- how often what people take away or not has everything to do with them more than the piece itself. easier to remember with perspective but sometimes tougher in the moment.

  8. I have to admit, sometimes you’ve made me blush, but I’ve never considered yours porn. Yes, and about your uncle. . .

  9. Jay says:

    I agree that it’s very important to not mis-name things that are simply discussing sex, or replicating sensuality, as porn. I am often very surprised at the terms that land people on our site. I wonder how many, many, many pages of Google they had to filter through before they came up with us – and still clicked! So strange.

    • diahannreyes says:

      So interesting that you too and another women have experienced similarly. Obviously something collective here, I would say. LOl on the wondering how “many many pages of Google” comment, Jay.

  10. Jean says:

    Well, I’m certain you’re only telling the tip of the iceberg of weird landings on your blog. What’s creepier are stalkers…in blogosphere.

    Speaking of erotic vs. porn, I found out a few months ago my oldest niece is a romance writer. In fact, 1 of the novels verges on soft porn or eroticism.

    There’s a long story about this transformation…. anyway.

    • diahannreyes says:

      yep-stalkers are even creepier for sure. Here’s hoping you aren’t having to deal with that. Is this the same niece you mentioned previously? Has she managed to make the transition so that writing novels can be her full-time gig?

      • Jean says:

        No, it doesn’t pay well. But she seems to be plunging into it with gusto. Will even attend a national romance writers’ conference.

  11. Lorien says:

    I’m wondering if you could probe your uncle and tease out of him his definition of porn in order to shed light on his assessment of your work. Perhaps a frank dialogue would help him open his eyes and heart a little more to the possibility of sexuality/sensuality/eroticism/self-awareness/self-love independent of shame and the labels that shame hides behind–like “pornographic.” Sounds to me that his anxiety was aroused, and perhaps there is a little child in him that needs to be coaxed out and told that it is safe to feel something unfamiliar, safe to explore something that is confusing. Maybe he was never given permission to celebrate his sexuality. Of course, maybe any kind of interaction with him involving this subject would end up being a terrible waste of your time–just throwing out some thoughts after reading your post.

    • diahannreyes says:

      Thanks for the thoughtful suggestions, Lorien. I think it would probably be uncomfortable for either one of us to bring this up years later. I definitely think his perspective is impacted by his generation for sure. And you are right that as much as I took his words to heart that there was probably a lot operating under the surface for him.

      • Lorien says:

        Haha, I guess I missed the part about it happening years ago. I suppose we are in the “let bygones be bygones” stage of things…but the experience certainly gave you–and us–a lot of food for thought! Thanks again for taking the time to write about your experience. I’m inspired by the fearlessness it takes to let yourself be so publicly vulnerable. ❤

  12. Tony Single says:

    Whenever we write about (and in my case illustrate) the sexual side of life (and ourselves), it can often be misunderstood. I was very worried that my latest strip would be considered beyond the pale because of its depiction of Ernest masturbating, so I hedged my bets and chose not to show it in as much graphic detail as I would have preferred. I feel like I compromised myself, but I also kind of felt held to ransom by my preconceived ideas of how people might react.

    This is a difficult subject for me, Diahann. I’m still working out what my sexuality means to me as a man which is what I believe some of my work portrays. But where does that fine line exist between genuine self expression and pornography? And anyway, is all pornography by its very nature bad? These are questions that I still very much grapple with, and I wish I could find answers for them. Truly, I’d love to know… but I just don’t.

    This post really got me thinking (but this no longer surprises me as all of your posts do that). Thank you for challenging me. I appreciate it!

    • diahannreyes says:

      Hi Tony, I think you bring up the important point that men too can be subjected to similar discriminations about whether their work is erotic or pornographic and how it can also hold back. That’s not something that gets talked about very much and it should.

      And agree with that question- is all pornography bad by its very nature? I would venture to say, in my opinion, it depends on the porn. I think sexuality has such potent energy to it that can be healing even whether in experience or to witness. It doesn’t seem to me though that it is that energy that is present in much of today’s porn so perhaps that is more the issue. But this is a complex topic for sure that has so many layers and nuances to it and like you, I don’t have a clear cut answer.

      Thanks for openly sharing here, as you often do.

  13. katherinejlegry says:

    Hi Diahann, I had so many things I could say to address your post, before I got distracted by a site that stole a post of mine, evidently they copyrighted my work, and are selling it for downloads… They were attracted to the title “Vagina Dentatus” which refers to a the male fear of the vagina and why so many seem to associate sex and violence like in vampire stories. How often movies like Alien make the queen mother a massive womb and also the death is the same premise, but so anyhow… they have a lot of blogs they stole and all comments are marked closed as if they ever had them open. The site calls itself sharepedia but don’t go there to look because it appears like they want to scare people with viruses so you have to buy a system sweeper…

    Anyhow, I think women get placed on porn sites no matter what we do and copyrighting material on line is tricky…

    There’s profit in rape, and porn and sex trafficking and it’s all supported by the computer industry and the film industry. Porn is where they make most of the dough. Not to sound defeatist but I don’t think they plan on helping women out of this stereotype anytime soon.

    The blog that was showing my art with my permission is now for private view only, until I can sort out my legal stuff… if I have any ground at all.

    I think writing about sensuality, sexuality, and also trauma regarding early experiences is all very natural and I support your freedom of creative expression. It isn’t porn because it’s not your intention. People who perceive it that way see things differently in the first place and it’s not your problem or work to correct them. They will either open to the truth in time or stay stuck.

    Your uncle probably didn’t want to think of his niece sexually or sensually and so created a barrier of shame from a “learned place”, but as others have expressed it’s not you he’s ashamed of. It’s himself. So really, you’re more free than he is able to be even under what feels like his oppressive attitude…

    My best to you and your work no matter what direction you take!

    • diahannreyes says:

      Thank you, Kate. Sorry to hear about the theft of your work- sites like that seem to be energy thefts both on the material and psychic level. Here’s hoping to more regulation that can prevent such incidents in the future.

      I’m sure you have probably explored your options- such as legal services that can issue cease and desist notices. I feel like lots of unfortunate dynamics operating when companies/people steal other people’s art/creative energy/erotic force. I hope this gets resolved soon.

  14. SirenaTales says:

    Good morning, my friend. I wonder how much of the issue you identify is entangled in the unhealthy connection so much of our culture has with our bodies and physicality in general? You remind me of the countless odd, sad, surprising comments I have received when people learn that I am a dancer. So often, too often, folks express such discomfort and disdain for their bodies and what their bodies can do. Embarrassment, derision, shame are offered up time and again…and sometimes are projected onto me in the form of judgment and condescension. Whoa.

    I think a wise comment you made recently on one of my posts points to the crux of the “problem.” You lamented the loss of the “magic of movement” in the fitness craze. So true. And along with that staggering loss lies a lack of understanding or appreciation of the miracle of the human body and what each of ours does every moment we are alive.

    I realize this is somewhat tangential, and yet I feel is intertwined with your post. You help me realize that a main reason I keep on insisting on making my dance visible is to remind people of the astonishing glory of the body and its beauty, power, potential.

    Thank you, as always, for getting my synapses and juices flowing! Rock on, GF. xoxo

    • diahannreyes says:

      Hi Chloe, wow- so interesting that with dance you’ve encountered similar judgments. Then again, like you said, so many of these judgments speak more about the other person than the object of said judgments. I’ve sometimes witnessed performances (not dancing,but others) that have made me uncomfortable and realized because that person was exposing parts in themselves that in myself I still had judgment around.

      I love that you dance out of love and also because it is part of your mission and beautiful service to remind us all of the potency of the body. That to me spell “calling.” xo

  15. pjsarecomfyn says:

    I remember the first time that I looked at the search terms that people used to get to my site and was so shocked over them. I think it basically means that most of the people on the internet are looking for sex stuff. We are just raising their awareness that there is more to the internet than snakes in vaginas :).

  16. Diahann, I LOVED this post. This rang so true for me–when we put our most vulnerable work out there we inevitably get push back from the people we look to for affirmation. It’s always surprising, it always hurts, and it always feels like it’s about us, doesn’t it? I love where you land here: “I decided to stop misnaming the erotic. No more using it to shame women, including me.” I want to carry that around in my pocket.

    • diahannreyes says:

      Thank you Jenn- so agree that there was an additional charge because I was looking for validation, which made me extra open and receptive when what I got was the exact opposite Please, for sure, take that aha moment inspired by Ms. Lorde herself, with you. 🙂

  17. What started off as amusing took me along a quiet trail under a sober sky. In case your uncle is Catholic (and he might not be, or may be nominally, but degree is hard for anyone to judge), people who hold to a certain faith can brush labels in quick strokes. His response, which felt very much like a personal judgmt against you, reflected his fears as well, D. His need to cling to certain categories. Right there, we slide into a whole other question of art. How art sometimes (or often) demands an open mind and surrender of one’s fears. Not only in the artist but also in the receiver. And something in me caught – and broke a little – when you came to your past abuse, though you’d alluded to it before. Thank you for the courage in the vulnerability. You have grown so strong.

    Love,
    D.

  18. You are the most fearless writer I know, and you are entirely unself-conscious about it. Please go on exploring the mind/psyche. It is always a more erotic space than the body.

  19. I blog about adult education, and that word, “adult” means I get lots of porn seekers landing on my blog. Like you, I often wonder what they think when they see what I write.

    • diahannreyes says:

      Wow. just from the word adult. so interesting. I am hearing similar experiences from other women writing about other topics too. I wonder what this says about search engines and how they are programmed!

  20. Beautifully written and expressed post. You write about sexuality and sensuality, not clinically, not pornographically, but with humanity and femininity. Very few writers are able to do that. You are a talented writer, and don’t ever forget it.
    There!

  21. Telling our truth can be difficult and being able to access it is a gift…it is what we are meant to write about.
    Your post is an inspiration and yes, not everyone will like what you write but what is important is to remain true to yourself. Then good writing arises and that is what you are best at. Keep doing it Diahann. Yours is a strong and necessary voice!

  22. reocochran says:

    I admire how you help us all to feel beautiful and desirable, male or female. It is important to be honest and approach this intimate subject openly. You never are doing ‘porn’ but if people would like to watch or read it, I am okay in the privacy of their homes. I would just hope no children or abusive sexual positions would be shown to ones who didn’t wish to see them. . . I am so glad you are here as a public service, Diahann! Smiles, Robin

    • diahannreyes says:

      Thank you, Robin. It’s good to know that my blog has had a positive effect – so much the opposite of what I had feared. I agree- to each his own and ideally no children or women or men harmed in the process!

  23. Aquileana says:

    At the end it all has to be with HOW we feel what might turn us on…. For instance too explicit pornography might not turn me on… On the contrary, something more subtle, but of course involving sex yes… I assume I like soft things, so as to say… Not too rough!… 😉
    Great post as always… All the best to you. Aquileana ⭐

  24. Haha! Their expressions would indeed be priceless! Though, it can be annoying for you, but be proud that you are giving art to those who need it the most 😉
    P.S. I am loving going through your posts and I did not land here by any such search 😀

  25. Alice says:

    I often wonder “what ON EARTH did they think they were looking for??!” when I see some of the search terms that bring people to CaaBP, too. I mean, when a person googles “sex in bed” — what exactly are they hoping to find?

    Also, I don’t attract anything *quite* so interesting as some of yours! (Mine run more to the “pulling out her chair on a date is sexist?” and “esoteric thought on masturbation” end of the spectrum.)

    • diahannreyes says:

      LOL. there is definitely a humorous slant to it all, isn’t there. Esoteric thought on masturbation is an interesting one. It seems, based on other comments here, that search engines may have a sexist bent on how they organize information to be found- a lot of women seem to have similarly strange search terms that lead to them.

      • Alice says:

        There’s also something about “off-brand” search engines, I suspect. For instance, the vast majority — if not all — of the searches done through Google (at least for those of us who don’t pay to access more than the baseline data WordPress offers for free) appear as “unknown search terms.” Maybe there’s a correlation between “using an engine too primitive to hide your search terms” and “weirdly sexist curiosities”!

        (Thought of you today, btw, and this post. Someone got to my page who was looking for ” titties sag quotes.” I mean — HUH??!? What on earth is on MY blog that corresponds to quotes about “sagging titties”??)

        • diahannreyes says:

          Lol. maybe whoever organizes terms for searches just dropped in a bunch of terms they associate with the feminine and that’s how people keep coming to women’s sites. I actually am not familiar with off-brand engines. Now I’m curious and will have to look into this.

  26. agenda19892010 says:

  27. ninoalmendra says:

    Hello Diahann,

    I have never thought of compiling the search word that landed on my blog, must be interesting and I will surely try it some time.
    Sadly your uncle must have been brought up like me. Where people around me have taught me that Penis, Vagina and Sex are bad.
    Unfortunately, nothing you can do with the way others think of you or your writings. You can only control your self and try your best to understood what others think about you.
    Of course I meet a lot of guy like your Uncle in my work place. I always say to my self, ” What doesn’t kill me will just make me stronger!” (Actually I don’t know who/where this quote came from, I just always hear it in a Radio commentator in the Philippines.)
    And about the way I look at Penis, Vagina and Sex… I think it should not be bad to talk about it. it is just a part of our body, in fact a very important part that non of us here will be in existence if not for the Penis, Vagina and Sex.

    I come here to your blog from time to time in search for knowledge that will help me understand the feminine behavior. And I always learn something new every time I visit.

    All the best,
    -nino

    • diahannreyes says:

      hi Nino, I think WordPress still shows the list of search terms people have used to land them on your site. I agree that a lot of this kind of perspective is cultural and generational – I think that quote, btw, is from a song- or maybe the song was inspired by the saying. I so agree that penis, vagina, etc- are body parts and should be nothing shameful about talking or writing about them- and lol- so true- where would we be without penis, vagina, and sex. We should be thanking all three rather than treating them like dirty words. I’m glad to know that you benefit from coming here- I know that I also benefit when you share.

  28. […] Source: The Accidental Porn Pusher […]


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